.......

i live in haverhill i dont belong here i hate it here i wanna go back - back to the funny ways , happy days , but didstance is in the way . im not okay im dying inside - missing important thing like friends open mike night's missing out on meeting new people . haverhill and there are not in any way equal . im crying again tonigt , holding this pillow tight wondering why i feel like i might die . crying to sleep - not hungry lost my appetite to eat . laying on the porch in the cold because it reminds me of the old .... days where we would laugh and play the hole day . getting home late to here complaints was fine . i was living life it was mine. im hurt now nd feel used by the fucking fraze " we have to move."

the break down

                                                                  So let go(so let go), jump in
                                                                  Oh well, whatcha waiting for?
                                                                               It's alright
                                                        'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
                                                                So let go(oh let go), just get in
                                                                    Oh, it's so amazing here
                                                                               It's alright

'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown

i love this song .... its just like WHAM! in the heart .....!

so i woke up early today thinking how fun this is and what not 

and i had a huge question !

if the all mighty God made us FROM dirt then why cant we eat it ?

O__O

"WTF is that s'possed to mean O_o"

i JUST realized how lost in life i am . the awkward thing is im fine with it  and i accept it . which , if im correct, is not the healthiest thing for me right now. i think im on the brink of no return [i lied im not] . i want sooo many things in life and yet i dont try to achieve/get/obtain said things. i want but dont try ..... . Sometimes i dont even know why im alive ... im NOT suicidal im just thinking like what am i doing? truthfully i dont know what to do with my self ... this is a secret but truthfully i dont know what i wanna be when i grow up and i dont even wanna grow up . its like a peter pan reaction. i like hanging out with my friends and being in high school . i guess im just afraid to grow up ? Nope i lied i DONT WANT TO grow up . its a nasty thing to do its quite gross and risky ...   but said like riskaay. i wish i could stay 15 FOREVER. ! Even though im 14 right now i wanna be 15 ? yes! hahaaa..ha. but sadly scientist havent cured this horrible disease of "growing up" :| 

The Tribe Curse ... -,-

ok so one thing EVERYONE in the tribe has in comin is the tribe curse . this curse aint like any other . its irony , sadness, pain , disapointment, a slap in the face and sand in your wound ..... ALL AT THE SAME TIME ! its horrible .... ! so we , the tribe, would be haveing a wonderful day of laughter and joy and WHAM! it happins !! lifee goes wrong. someone would get hurt are would loose an item . in this case my keys and shirt . why it happens? i dont quite know O_o but it takes the fun outa life ... +_+ !


... last time it was nobuo's selfone! now its  my keys and shirt oh and espinal got hurt ..... life . i think god sees us having so much fun and being so happy he goes like " uhhhh why are they so friggen happy ?" he's like 'the whole world is in tears while ur having the time of your life' then he strikes us with the spears of sadness and slight depression..... . and we cant do anything about it !!!! ahhhhhh ! oh and its sunday , i have school tomarro  and im friggen up! life.  --,--